The Hibbitty Dibbitty

(Or, How to how to have cybersex in World of Darkness Chat games without causing yourself and others myriad problems.)

I’m not going to get into a long essay about this. Except to say that anything that 2 or more characters get up to in a locked room, that EVERYONE consents to, is frankly nobody’s business. But there are a few things that people ought to take into consideration. So here are a few guidlines:

1) Take “No” for answer. Take “Stop” for an order.

2) If you’re being creepy or rape-y, Evidence is trivially easy to gather. Sooner or later, you WILL be caught.

3) If you’re crying “Sexual Harrassment” because you want to get someone ousted from a game, See number 2.

4) You should be aware that if you are a magnet for sexual improprieties, that reputation is going to get around and it will follow you from place to place. And just so you know, There is always going to be at least 2 or 3 people in every game who can recognize you from the way you express yourself, so it doesn't even matter if you get a new email address and tack on a new handle.

5) If you are an ST and you are caught ghosting in a locked room during a sexual scene, you should be relieved of your post.

6) If you want to show the GM or admin your boobs, or your cock, that’s one thing. If you do so in order to obtain preferential treatment, that’s quite another. Good luck proving that wasn't your aim in the first place.

7) It’s bullshit to spend the bulk of your time online having cybersex and then use your experience to buy combat abilities. Unless it’s (Weapon Specialty: Very small truncheon)
Social skills, i’m okay with. Also, Athletics. (it was also suggested that it might be okay to purchase Stamina and Dexterity this way.)

8) Do yourself a favor. The tendency when a sexual relationship is new is to go wild. But honestly, there’s only so many ways to write a sex scene...And they take hours and hours. Space them out some. You’ll thank me.

9) If you are involved with a love polygon of some sort, all the participants should know OOC what’s going on, even if they don’t all know IC.

10) Not everyone digs cybering. Some would just as soon say, “And here’s where we draw the curtain”
Respect that. 

Do not however use that as a license to tease. Be upfront about your tendencies in this regard.

11) By that same token, if you feel a scene is drifting in a sexual direction and you aren’t comfortable with that, SAY SO.

12) Since most players don’t have handles like Vagina-Centric or Sporting-A-Penis, you can of course sometimes run into players that are gender-swapped. I don’t think I have to tell you that it’s not cool to allow them to think you are a gender or an orientation you are not. But hey, just in case, It's NOT COOL to let other people think you are a gender or an orientation that you are not.

13) PDA in public places is probably okay, but may engender IC jealousy. PDA verging on soft-core porn in public places is a little more ticklish. Boning in the foyer is just tacky.

14) If you’re character is of one supernatural race and your paramour is of another. You are going to have to expect that your people are going to be watching to see if your paramour knows things they shouldn’t. If you or your paramour ends up knowing things you shouldn’t because of pillow talk, try not to act surprised when the hammer comes down. Some things are secret for a reason, and this ain’t “Underworld” dufus!

15) Rape is not cool. Rape is never cool. If you’re sitting on the other end of this article, saying something like, “Yeah? Well, what about...”
You might as well just stop.
Your venue is filled to the brim with all sorts of mortals npc’s and a few vampire npc’s of flexible morals. It is perfectly alright for your PC to go about doing anything to them that you can get away with. With fellow players, you might want to keep your kinks to yourself. Seriously, trying to do anything like that with other players is like trying to negotiate a mine-field with clown shoes on.

16) You should probably pay attention to the fact that certain types of depictions of sexual activity can be psychologically triggery. This is unpleasant for everyone. Moreover, in addition to people with real, honest, serious, problems gained from actual traumas, there are over-sensitive, hyper-dramatic loonballs who are more than capable of making everyone miserable based on their imagined “Emotional Distress”. Don’t give those persons a reason.

17) Speaking of things triggery, You might want to be aware of something. Sexual Harrassment is not predicated on a single event. If a person approaches you with sexifull ideas in mind, He or she may not KNOW that you aren’t interested until you tell them. (Which you should do in a polite, but firm manner)
It is only when a person makes a second sexual approach that Sexual Harrassment is constituted.

18) If you are in a committed relationship IRL, Don’t keep your fictional liasons a secret. It’s just a bad idea.

Hopefully these tips will help you steer clear of rough waters